23-24/100
it's all cope.
Dear reader,
I'm just gonna go ham on this letter. I think one of the things I am starting to “love” about this country is that we are all in a toxic relationship with one another. Think of all the categories of relationships you can think of.
Boss and employee.
Child and parents/guardians.
Mother and father.
The romantic situation.
The committed (romantic) engagement.
People don't even know how to be good enemies anymore. It's all a mess. It's all terribly toxic. And you might cough under your breath and say “Rejoice, that's not true.” But it is. And you know what's even more funny? Is that we all have forms of cope to deal with the situation.
We cope with the little idols we make for ourselves in the form of money, sex and nonsense. The lies we tell ourselves.
Its why I am not surprised at anything anymore. By God, I am not even surprised at myself, and the only One whose word I can take to the bank is God. And I know God gives us a long rope, but you know what I realise, is that He knows we will come to that end of the rope and collectively get tired of killing, hating and annoying each other. Truly like the Teacher says in Ecclesiastes: there is nothing new under the sun.
Big sigh.
You cannot be on this nation's soil and effectively judge because except by some long hard intensity of consecration, the atmosphere is bound to contaminate you. I will stop my rant there cause by now you get the point. The point is there is no one to blame cause all have sinned.
The toxic boss wants the employee to be damned and vice versa. Yet both of them are guilty of the same crimes. Both, are like mirrors with their reflection bouncing off each other. It makes no sense why we are in this constant loop of blaming each other and looking to nail the next man to the bloody cross. No no, it makes sense. There is a certain high you get once you can deflect the responsibility of guilt onto another. But that's a topic for another day.
It's why I love Daniel's prayer in chapter 9 of his book in the bible. This man has come to realise that we are all mad. Sorry not we, I meant his people. Mad. A running circus, a rolling failing performance of a country. Yet not all are willing to take on their own sins, talk more of the sins of the others. So constantly God has to find people that are somewhat outliers, who care enough to…care.
Don't worry, I am not writing this, standing on a hilltop to damn anyone. I write it realising I was stuck in this loop of toxicity and taking ownership of what and who I am and mercifully moving on. Regrets to me is barely a prideful condition and I choose not to drink of its cup any longer. I accept my rights and wrongs and prayerfully (oh do I pray) ensure not to repeat it again.
We will be alright. We will come to the end of ourselves. And the weakness (or elephant) we have avoided for so long will finally be the rod of mercy God will use to stop us in our tracks and make us see how frail we are. Then we will cry out to God, and the distaste of the past will be so strong in our mouth, our heart will not long to go back there.
That is all. That is my assurance. That in this world, and my Nigeria, all will be well in the end.
PS: this letter is definitely not in response to a workplace annoyance that has been nagging me. It's cope.
Best,
Rejoice Onize.